There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening
That is translated through you into action,
And because there is only one of you in all time,
This expression is unique.
If you block it,
It will never exist through any other medium
And be lost.
The world will never have it.
It is not your business to determine how good it is,
Nor how valuable it is,
Nor how it compares with other expressions.
It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly,
To keep the channel open.
You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work.
You have to keep open and aware
Directly to the urges that motivate you.
Keep the channel open.
No artist is pleased.
There is no satisfaction whatever at any time.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction,
A blessed unrest that keeps us marching
And makes us more alive than others.
~ Martha Graham from a letter to Agnes de Mille

Did you realize that the true definition of the human species Latin name - homo sapien sapien - is actually “same knowing knowing”? Literally, humans are defined by not only our ability to know something, but to know that we know something; we’re aware of our own conscience. I learned that during a workshop last weekend on the Theatre of the Oppressed, a way of developing performance that is designed to give voice to those people in our society who are often without power. This workshop on the teachings of Augustus Boal got me thinking about the people who don’t seem to be conscious of their own conscience - who, literally, don’t know that they know.

It seems to me that an awful amount of people fall into this category. Many, many people don’t question the world around them. From the war in Iraq, to reading movie reviews, many people accept the first thing that they see on the subject and assume that someone else will figure out the rest. By not thinking about the thought process behind the information presented to them - let alone their own actions - many people, don’t think about their thoughts, don’t question themselves or others. At times, of course, all of us choose not to know. It would be a terrible burden to have to interrogate yourself every time you saw a homeless person on the street, or to question every stroke of your toothbrush. It seems that our ability to block that second “sapien” from our nature is a survival mechanism. Without it, we would likely be driven insane.

But as Martha Graham says, there is only ever one of us, and we must not block whatever it is that makes “us” us. I feel as if people who don’t question, who don’t know anything about their own knowing are abandoning some crucial expression of themselves. That probably explains why they are so often so relaxed and happy: they lack the eternal dissatisfaction that those of us plagued by our own knowledge deal with on a daily basis. They have not just traded doubt for security, but also lost a piece of themselves in the bargain.

Certainly, I’ve taken the red pill - indeed, I was born into a world where it was fed to me at birth - and can never go back. Nor would I want to. I’m happy in my knowledge, and would never trade it for bliss. But while I enjoy “a divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest,” I can at least have some sympathy for those who cannot bear such a burden. It is their choice to accept or deny that critical part of themselves.

The trouble comes in areas like politics, where people who have rejected this inner knowledge can force their will on those of us who lay claim to our right to question, and those who have never even been given the power to choose.

Then there is blogging, which has attracted a large number of those of us who are true sapiens sapien - by its nature it seems to be built for us. It’s exciting to think that constantly-conscious people may soon be able to command a large portion of the media, and disturbing to think of the people who will still tune out - from me, from us, from everything. When there is no Mass Media, what happens to those who use it to survive? Or maybe there always will be some form of Mass Media, made just for the people who don’t have the will to look elsewhere, or, even more, to create their own media.

I don’t know where I’m going with this, or how to conclude it, so I’ll just stop for now. My mind is swirling with all sorts of thoughts relating to art, politics, power, and conscience, and I had to get some of it out. Please comment if you have thoughts on the matter - I’d be eager to hear what others have to say.