If you live in LA, you’ve probably been watching your neighbors get pecked off on the freeways with mounting fear and/or incredulity. It seems like we can’t go more than a few days without someone getting gunned down on our already-dangerous motorways. Well, we can all relax now, because CHP has created a special freeway shooting team. They still haven’t arrested anyone for any of the shootings, but I’m sure they’ll get on that post-haste.

Assistant Chief Art Acevedo consoles us:

We are actually on pace to have fewer shootings this year, and remember, these shootings are taking place in three counties that are heavily traveled with high populations.

Well that’s a relief - as long as the shootings are only happening where there are lots of people. And hey, less people are dying than last year, so it’s all okay. Whew. I feel better now.